Questioning

What if my black does crack

And I’m crushed by the weight carried on my ancestors’ backs

What if I’m not strong enough to live up to their dreams

And I never understand what black excellence truly means

What if I think I’m paying my dues by having it rough

And then realize I’m just not good enough

What if I stand on a pillar of queer intersectionality

And one day realize that none of who I am is the real me

What if I strive to change the world, aspire to be great

But by the time I shake the fear I realize I’m too late

What if I devote my life to correcting my grandma’s pain

And realize on my deathbed that I spent my life hurting just the same

What if I work hard, break the cycle, heal the damage that’s been done

And then realize everything I hated is everything I’ve become