Recover-y-ing

Can you see me?
Lying on the floor
Bloody and bruised
Black and blue
Nothing left to lose
Cuz it was all stolen
Eyes swollen
Lips broken
Soul hopin
Someone will hear the cries
As I rip at my thighs
Exposed wounds oozing with lies
About love and I’ll never do it again

Do you see me?
Crying in silence
Crushed by the violence
Pain inflicted by words in my mind
Two worlds intertwined
The fight to survive
At the hand of my own deprivation
Cuz only success deserves to eat
So I’m sentenced to starvation
Feelings of insides churning
At the thought of preservation
The child inside me strangled by degradation
Followed by love and I swear I’ll never do it again

Why don’t I see…me?
Look in the mirror
Can’t recognize the reflection
Stop the scan of critical eye
That’s my only protection
Cuz imperfections loom deep
Invade my mind with infection
Become cautiously aware of self-dissection
Intersection between who I am
And who I claim to be
Of who I become when they look at me
Cuz any praise is quickly met with deflection
Then feelings of rejection
By love and...well at least I tried not to do it again